The vast majority of single parents don’t set out to be single parents. Due to a relationship breakdown or even a bereavement, they find themselves in a situation that they perhaps never anticipated. Maybe they are happy being a single parent, after all, every child is a blessing, but down the line they might feel that it’s the right time to pursue a relationship again. They might fear that people won’t be accepting of their situation or feel that having a child or children is some sort of baggage, but that’s not the case and people like that aren’t worthy of their time or attention anyway.
Here’s some great tips for getting back into the dating pool as a parent.
- Start your search local – the last thing you need right now, whether you have full time or part time custody of your children is a long distance relationship. The time and money will be draining and your attentions should be on your kids. Search online for local sites such as “Derbyshire dating site” or “dating sites in Derbyshire” but obviously changing the location to a big town or city near you. Whilst you may have a smaller pool of prospective matches, you are more likely to find someone who can down the line slot in to your family easily. If you are an older parent, perhaps you haven’t dated for a long time and perhaps have lost your confidence. Don’t worry – there will be plenty of people in similar situations as yourself and you might try searching online for something like “senior dating“
- Ask your friends and family for set ups. Don’t appear desperate and ask everyone, but a few close friends and family on the look out for you won’t hurt.
- Join a class, a club or a society. I don’t think you should take up something which you have no interest in but, if there’s something you do find interesting or would like to know more about, these can be great ways of widening your friendship and social groups.
- Be honest and open with any prospective match (online or others) about your family situation. More often than not it isn’t that the person has an issue with you having children, but it’s an issue with you not being honest about it up front. If this person is someone who is going to become special, they will not care about any children or anything else for that matter. They will like you for you.
I’ve spoken to lots of single parents and they have admitted that they find it hard – well guess what – so do us non parents, but I do understand you have less time for you and your life is less spontaneous than perhaps mine is, but don’t let that affect the way that you think about yourself. You are someone’s mummy or daddy and super important to them, so you just need to find someone who will love you to a similar level! It might take a while, but for yourself and your child, don’t rush it – you will know when it’s the right person and the right time for them to meet your kids.